Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.
Proverbs 4:23
What is translated as "heart" here actually refers to our mind or inner being and not to our seat of emotions and affection. The "spring" is literally the outgoings of life or the out flowing of spiritual vitality.
We should not accept the unbiblical council of the world to "follow our hearts"—that is a recipe for disaster. We are called to bring the Word of God to bear on our heart. We should always be on guard against sinful desires. But guarding our hearts should not become a self-focused attempt to avoid ever being disappointed.
We're not to guard our hearts from attraction.
Look, in friendships as single men and women, you're going to be attracted to people, but use discernment when moving forward in any form of relationship. Don't pick up and run away from that relationship the first moment that you sense some form of attraction. Instead seek God and maintain a pure heart and mind in all dealings.
God can help you to process that in a godly way.
If we attempt to guard ourselves against attraction or disappointment, at times we may end up cutting ourselves off from the good gifts of friendship and fellowship that God has for us. And if, the person that you are interested in doesn't share the same kind of romantic interest in you, God will enable you to trust Him and provide strength to walk through that disappointment.
We are to live lives that point to God as our greatest treasure.
Regardless if there is an attraction there or not, our ambition as Christians should be to live lives that point to God as our greatest treasure. To live lives of love for others that display the love that God has shown to us. Our desire should be to never do anything that hurts another person or causes that person to stumble, but we are not called to flee from any disappointment in life—we are called to live lives of faith.
C.S. Lewis, in The Four Loves says this:
I believe that the most lawless and inordinate loves are less contrary to God's will than a self-invited and self-protective lovelessness... Christ did not teach and suffer that we might become, even in the natural loves, more careful of our own happiness... we shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armor. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it.¹
And with that we should know that God seeks to guide us in this process of guarding our hearts—what are we to do when affections come?
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).
If we lay our requests—hopes and fears—all before God, His peace will guard our hearts. Not from all pain, disappointment, and suffering—but from something far worse than these. The peace of God will guard our hearts and minds in Christ for His glory and our good.
[1] C.S. Lewis, in The Four Loves pg. 170
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