Is It Infatuation Or Love That I See In This Person

There is a big difference between love and infatuation. Consider these contrasts between the two and determine if the feeling you have is love or infatuation when it comes to having an interest in someone of the opposite sex.

Infatuation leaps into bloom, but real lasting love usually takes time to grow and establish a deep strong root system for life.

Two people do not fall into love. They grow into love.

Love is not a feeling; it is a decision, unlike infatuation which is a sudden feeling. Infatuation is accompanied by a sense of uncertainty; you are thrilled and stimulated, but not really satisfied. You may find yourself miserable when this person is absent, and you find that you can't wait to see them again.

Now it is normal to have feelings that long for the company of this person in a love based relationship. However, when you are unable to separate from this person in a mature manner it is not healthy for you or the other person. True love is mature and is able to exercise self-control over the emotions one is feeling.

Love begins with a feeling of security; you are warm with a sense of the other person’s nearness, even when they are away. You want them near, but near or far, you know there is that common thread that will not break and you can wait.

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. If you are honest, you will discover that it is difficult to enjoy one another unless you end in intimacy of some form. Love is the maturation of friendship. You are willing to be friends before you can be lovers.

Love says, “Don't rush into anything.” You are sure of one another and you can plan your future with confidence as God leads.

Infatuation says, “We must get married right away. I can’t risk losing you,” or “I must be with you at all times or some one else may take you away from me.”

Love means trust. When you are apart you are able to let go of the person you love in order for them to be the person they were created to be without second guessing what they are doing or whom they are with.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When you are apart you wonder if he’s with another girl or if she is with another guy, sometimes you even check up just to make sure.

It is important to learn the difference between love and infatuation.

These thoughts on love are quite different from what the world says love is. Many times in God’s Word, what is said is quite the opposite of what the world says. God has never yet been proven wrong or inaccurate (nor will He ever be), so it seems a better risk to believe God than to believe the lie of the world. Examine your own heart carefully and in light of God’s Word to see if it is love or infatuation that you see in the one whom you are taken by.

Infatuation	Love
Based on little-known facts about the other person.	Knows and accepts the other person as he or she is.
Won’t pass the test of time.	Time is its greatest friend.
Is purely an emotion, thus is subject to change and wavering.	An emotional need and an act of the will.
Is blind to reality.	Is not blind, but seeks the truth.
The following comparisons are based on 1 Corinthians 13.
In a big hurry.	Patient.
Wants to change the other person.	Knows and accepts them.
Easily threatened, jealous.	Trusts God, allows the other person to be free.
Self-centered (“What will benefit me?”).	Does not seek its own (“How can I serve others?”).