To Live Is Christ And To Die Is Gain

Death—in a series of unrelated conversations and occurrences, death has reared its massive head several times over the past few weeks, and it’s got me thinking.

If asked the question, quoting the fictional Tyler Durden,

“If you died right now, how would you feel about your life?”

And in addition, “What are you doing about it?”

I like the question. I like it because it doesn’t bring into question where I’m going when I die. That is a good question, but when I am assured of my salvation (as the free gift of God, by faith alone), the question loses some of its impact. I know where I’m going when I die, praise God. But how would I feel about my life if I died right now?

It’s not that I haven’t thought about death before. Oh, how often I have longed to leave this earth and go home to my Savior… but I think at times this longing can supersede and therefore eliminate my desire and motivation to live for Christ while yet on earth. Paul found this balance, knowing that to die is gain, the best thing that could happen to him. But he also knew that as long as he was here, he was going to live entirely for Christ.

To answer the question quite honestly, I do not think I would be very satisfied about my life if I died right now.

I find myself thinking, “I just haven’t been alive long enough, yet. I haven’t had enough time. Give me ten more years and I’ll be a bit more satisfied with how I’ve lived my life and what I’ve accomplished.”

This thought concerns me, as I think it should.

I might not have ten more years.

For all I know, I might not have ten more days.

So what am I doing about it?

What am I doing to ensure that if I died right now, I would be pleased, in general, with my life. This is not perfectionism; I don’t expect to be happy with everything I have done… I don’t expect to have any regrets whatsoever either.

But I want my life to be defined by this desire to be generally content with the way I have lived. Admitting that I am not happy with my life is an important realization to come to, but I can’t stop there. I must then decide what to do about it.

Following the logical and structural format of this thought, I should now explain how I am going to change my answer to the question of how I would feel about my life if I were to die right now. But it is not clear in my mind yet.

I do know that I desire to fulfill the calling on my life and to see great things accomplished for the Kingdom here on earth through me—my talents, skills, abilities, time, and energy. I would also spend meaningful time with those I care about and are close to my heart. And seek out adventures that will leave lasting memories for those that follow in my foot steps—to leave a legacy.

Again, to live is Christ.

Christ is worth really living for—as in, all of my life, nothing left out; this is everything I am and could possibly be. That’s what matters right now. For the next ten days, and the next ten years, I am going to attempt to improve my answer to the question; not because this life is so great, but because to live is Christ.