Corrupt Talk Leads To Irresponsible Hearing

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up,

as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Ephesians 4:29

We live in a society inundated by talk. At their best, words express our worship of the One who gave us the ability to think, feel, and speak. At their worst, words spew out the abundance of sin in the heart to destroy. At every point in between, words matter.

Talking requires discernment; so does listening. And listening responsibly has become a challenge in a culture that values talk-for-talk's-sake as entertainment. How often this kind of talk pushes the boundaries of decency and restraint for the payoff of audience reaction!

How often we reward insensible talk with the approval of our time and attention. When we listen with irresponsible ears, we encourage the bar of civility to fall lower and lower. We also dull our own minds and hearts so that what used to shock us has no effect.

Let's face it—it's easy to listen a little too long, to laugh when we shouldn't, to push the boundaries ourselves in order to get a reaction. But what comes easily for the flesh isn't God's standard for our talk.

Whether we speak or listen, we are responsible before God for our words. His Son died to pay for our slander, gossip, lewd innuendos, and off-color jokes. By His grace, we speak—and listen—for his glory.

Meeting And Greeting

People notice your outward appearance first, but they also notice what you say and how you act when they meet you. You need to know how to introduce yourself and others, as well as how to make small talk and polite conversation with new acquaintances and peers. Greet everyone with a friendly smile. When it is appropriate, say, “Hello, how are you?”

Introduce yourself with the six S’s:

1. Stand
2. Smile
3. See their eyes
4. Shake hands
5. Speak your name
6. Say their name back to them

Most of us have trouble with introductions, whether introducing ourselves or someone else. We have trouble remembering names, and we can’t remember the rules. If you learn the six S’s and practice them often, you will always be comfortable when you meet people.

The first four S’s—stand, smile, see their eyes, and shake hands—are done almost simultaneously. The last two—speak your name and say the other person’s name back to them—follow.

Stand. It’s always polite to stand when you are meeting or greeting someone.

Smile. The smile is a language the deaf can hear and the blind can see. It takes fourteen muscles to smile, but more than seventy to frown.

See their eyes. Making eye contact with people is important. If you have trouble looking people in the eye, practice introducing yourself in front of a mirror. You will soon become more comfortable.

Shake hands. A handshake should be firm, but neither crushing nor limp. The Protocol School in Washington teaches that the Web between your thumb and index finger should meet the web of the other person’s hand. To keep your hand dry, wipe your hand on your clothing before extending it, if necessary. Don’t pump someone’s hand up and down as though you were priming a pump.

Say the person’s name back to him or her. After you have introduced yourself to someone, and the person tells you his or her name, repeat the name, saying, it slowly and distinctly. Repeating a name helps you remember it and makes sure you understand it correctly. It also makes other people feel good when you say their name.

What Are Our Limitations?

Do we really live in a world of limitations? We see athletes break records we once thought impossible. We set goals to break our own record sales. We push ourselves until the brink of fatigue and exhaustion. Just how far can we go and still remain healthy?

Physical limitations are probably the ones we will first notice. As we live, we realize that aging is inevitable. We might ache more than you did last year. Our eyes might not focus as well as they did last year. We might not be able to eat the same way you did when you were a twenty-something and expect to maintain a healthy weight. Physical limitations are hard to accept, but truly a part of living and aging.

Our main limitations in life might be:

• Physical - we can’t function without the proper amounts of food, water, and sleep. When we fail to meet our physical needs, our bodies reach points of fatigue and exhaustion. People with occupations that require strenuous physical labor must pay close attention to their physical needs to compensate for the energy expended each day.

• Emotional - our emotional involvement with your family might be too intense in crisis situations for us to truly function at our best. People in caring professions often become too emotionally involved in too many people emotionally, ending up fatigued and exhausted.

• Mental - our mind is used to carrying out both simple and complex thoughts during the day. But we can experience too much information, coming at us too quickly, or information that is too complicated for us to process in a healthy and productive way.

When it comes to emotional and mental limitations, many people ignore their bodies’ calls for help. People have limits—on the number of people they can service; on the number of intelligent decisions they can expect to make; on the amount of time they can devote to a task; on how much new information they can absorb; on how many clients they can deal with. People have needs that must be met in order to remain functional.

Sometimes people look at their limitations in negative ways when viewed through the lens of employment. Some might fear that if they are limited in certain areas in the workplace, they might not excel, get a promotion, be respected, or have the security of employment.

From this standpoint, the issue of limitations becomes a spiritual one. We sometimes fear the future instead of looking to the future with faith. We sometimes fail to involve God in our work. We sometimes separate our lives into compartments—ones for faith, family, and work—and forget to involve God in all we do.

We must learn to rely on God instead of ourselves. He already knows what we are able do on our own. He also knows when to reach out to us with His limitless ability to give us what we need when we need it—as Christians it is already ours we just have to call on God and it will be given. What He will not do is assist us with something that is not His will. Some Christians have a real knack of “thinking up” something good to do for God. Some run ahead of Him in creating something of value to do for Him. Despite good intentions, we can sometimes wear ourselves out while God is waiting for us to do something supernatural with His power.

Is there a game plan for living a balanced life and dealing with our limitations? Yes.

• First, begin your day with Christ, and He will help you order your day with greater clarity than you can alone. Instead of moving quickly from one task to the next, consider how you can begin your day with a quiet time with the Lord. Ask Him to help you determine the priorities of your day. Ask Him for wisdom in dealing with your limitations.

• Second, learn to say no. Fatigued and exhausted set in when you think that something horrible will happen if you turn down an opportunity or say no to someone’s request. Sometimes the most intelligent and best thing you can do is to say no.

• Third, learn to ask for help if you find that you are continually emotionally and mentally drained. Ask others to help you carry the load. Find a mentor, pastor, or Christian friend to help you determine a plan for you to be free of your emotional and mental strain.

• Finally, learn to live in faith, realizing that it is the antidote to fear. We don’t have to fear what might happen if we reduce the load that we carry. God is a good and powerful God who provides for our needs. He cares for us deeply. He knows what we long for, and He knows what we need. We can trust Him to reveal to us what He would have us do and show us what we need to avoid.

So, do we live in a world of limitations? Yes, we do. We have limits, but our Father in heaven is limitless. We must live in faith that God has and will provide what we need when we need it, this is a way that we can live a life of greater abundance each day.

The Importance Of Training And Development

What would happen if the athletes who decide to run the Boston Marathon failed to train? Would they succeed? Would they feel a sense of accomplishment? Or would they experience humiliation in front of fellow athletes? Training leads to personal growth and success. If you have not already determined a plan for success, then begin drafting your training plan today.

Training Excuses

Training is one element many corporations consider when looking to advance people and offer promotions. Although many employees recognize the high value those in management place on training and development, some employees are still reluctant to be trained. It is not uncommon to hear excuses regarding why someone has not received training.

Some people are just comfortable in what they are doing. Some fail to see the value of training because they really believe that they already know it all. And while that might be true, the knowledge value of training and development is not the only perk. Training and development offers more than just increased knowledge. It offers the added advantage of networking and drawing from others’ experiences. When you attend a seminar or event with others who have jobs that are much like yours, you have the added benefit of sharing from life experience. The seminar notes or the conference leader might give you the key nugget you take back and implement. But then again, your best piece of advice for the day might come from the peer sitting across from you while having lunch.

Another common excuse is that there is not enough money budgeted to pay for training. Who said that training always carries a heavy enrollment fee? Training can be free. You can set up meetings with peers who are on a similar path as you. When you spend time with them you can ask various questions that will in fact be of benefit to you and the direction you are headed. Follow someone for a day to see how they organize or manage their time and resources. The cost to you is a day out of your normal routine. You usually don’t think twice about taking a day of vacation, so why should a day of training be any different?

Time is another often-heard excuse when training and development is mentioned. Have you considered that training and development might actually give you more time? Often the procedures, ideas, short cuts, and timesaving hints learned in training and development sessions equal more time in the long run. Have you heard the old saying that you have to spend money to make money? Well, in a sense, the same is true for training and development. You have to devote some time to training and development to make you more productive in the long run.

Reasons to Train

In order to convince you to ditch the excuses, perhaps we need to look at some reasons to train. Training is valuable to both you. Increased knowledge and skill makes you more productive in and thus more valuable. As you grow in knowledge or skill, you make yourself more marketable.

Another reason to train is because it helps keep you motivated and breaks up your normal routine. Training can help you get beyond the daily routine and perhaps energize you to do better work.

Part of the energizing process of training is found in the relationships formed during training sessions. Training offers you a time to network with and connect with other professionals. Always remember to exchange business cards or contact information. You never know when you might need to contact the person or vice versa.

Your Personal Training Plan

Once you have determined that you are in need of a training plan, consider which areas of weakness need to be targeted. Then consider which areas are strong, yet could be further strengthened. Make a list of several skills or knowledge that you believe would make you more valuable and marketable. Then begin to determine ways you could be trained to strengthen those areas.

In determining you personal training plan, don’t overlook areas in which you have an interest. If you are interested in learning more about computers or if you have an interest in public speaking, why not seek training in one of those areas? You may begin to see that God is leading you to an area of giftedness or interest that you have not yet tapped. Dream big and seek the training you think best fits both your needs and interests and then watch yourself grow in personal development.

Looking For A Mentor

Are you looking for a mentor? The following checklist is a rather detailed, point-by-point, academic exercise in trying to help you find the ideal mentor you for. What you’re really looking for is a person whom you know cares for you, believes in you, and naturally encourages you. A good mentor is a person who you enjoy being with, who has more experience than you have, and who would be happy to help you win in life. If you already have that person in your life, this checklist will only confirm your intuitive guess that this person would make a great mentor.

What to look for in a mentor:

1. Honest with You

Someone who will take you aside on occasion and tell you things you need to hear but frankly don’t necessarily want to hear.

2. A Model for You

Thomas Carlyle’s words are worth repeating: “Be what you would have your pupils to be.” What do you learn by watching them as well as by listening to them? Part of your mentor’s role is teaching you by letting you watch them in addition to telling you things.

3. Deeply Committed to You

It may be a little difficult to see a mentor or a protégé as family. But the Apostle Paul, when writing to his young protégé, Timothy, captured this thought when he said, “Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity” (1 Timothy 5:1). Even though they are probably not blood relatives, see both your mentor and your protégé with a family level of commitment.

4. Open and Transparent

Every mentor has struggles that the protégé never sees. The protégé might say with some hesitation, “My mentor can do this, but I don’t know if I’ll ever make it because I have problems with discipline (or doubt, or self-worth, or fatigue).” Ask your mentor to share their struggles, along with success stories.

5. A Teacher

Many people do things well, but don’t know how to explain to another person how they did it. At one time they learned how to do a given exercise (an accounting practice, a writing style, a trick of the trade) but have long since forgotten how they do it. Look for a mentor that can tell you how and why they did, or didn’t, do something.

6. One Who Believes in Your Potential

Your ideal mentor needs to be the kind of person who looks at you and says, “Yes, I think this person has tremendous potential. I think if I invest some of my life in this person, they have what it takes to make a real difference.”

7. One Who Can Help You Define Your Dream and a Plan to Turn Your Dream into Reality

Ideally, you are looking for a mentor who can help you clarify things which are in your head and in your heart. The mentor helps you answer the dream question. “How can I make the most significant difference for God in my lifetime?”

8. Successful in Your Eyes

You must feel that your mentor is the kind of person you would like to be like some day, in some ways.

9. Be Open to Learning from You, As Well As Teaching You

This might sound off as a prerequisite for being a good mentor because it seems like the mentor’s job to teach and the Protégé’s job to learn. But in fact it is always good to have a mentor that remains teachable, then they are modeling the teachability that they want you—their protégé to have. You can learn from everyone. What’s more, if a mentor pours their life into a person and gives and gives and gives, sooner or later that person in whom they have invested so much in will want to give something back.

10. Having A Flexible Agenda

A mentor is a person who has a flexible agenda, and teaches the importance of having a flexible agenda.

Finding The Wise People

I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and find out knowledge and discretion.

Proverbs 8:12

What do some of the wisest people you know have in common: they voraciously seek wisdom! It seems obvious, but it isn’t. It takes humility to seek out the advice and input of others, and it is a constant struggle to overcome pride and self-sufficiency in this matter.

Author and speaker Gregg Harris notes that when the Queen of Sheba found out that King Solomon was the wisest man who had ever lived, she responded by traveling to “test him with hard questions” (1 Kings 10:1).

You probably know several Solomons—wise people you could learn a lot from. Here are some questions to identify who they are:

• Who knows what you need to know?
• Who is doing what you would like to do?
• Who knows you better than you know yourself?
• Who will give you honest, constructive feedback?
• Who can encourage you and guide you?

Once you identify these folks, figure out how to learn from them. Read their books. Spend time observing them. E-mail or call them. Take them to lunch and ask questions.

Here are six categories of Solomons you need to start interacting with right away:

1. Trusted Friends and Relatives

Don’t neglect the obvious. Ask family members: “When you observe my life, what do you see as my strengths and weaknesses?” If you are a student, ask your teachers, “Based on what you know about me, what do you think I would be good at?” Ask coworkers or bosses: “I want to take my work to the next level. What are some areas of strength or weakness that you think I could work on?”

2. Spiritual Advisors

Ask your pastor: “What kind of character qualities do you see in my life? How can I be stronger at what really matters? How can I discover what is important to God in my life?”

3. Mentors

Think of the wisest people you know and arrange to spend time with them. Prepare well for it; write out questions you would like to have answered. Tell them that you admire them and want to learn from them, and ask if it is possible to take them to lunch or arrange to spend time together.

4. Coaches

If you want to know how to play a sport, you find a coach. If you want to explore an occupation or find out how to be wise and successful, you should do the same thing.

5. Authorities

Though you might not spend much time with them, you can learn by reading their books, browsing their web sites, and subscribing to their publications.

6. Heroes

Perhaps there are people from the past—or those still living—for whom you have great admiration. Inspire yourself by reading biographies and autobiographies to discover what made them tick.

Start seeking out the Solomons in your life today. Make it a priority. As you do, your inspirational gift will spark to life, and you will find a much greater sense of direction and purpose in life.

Change Is Part Of Life And Work

And He changes the times and the seasons;

He removes kings and raises up kings; He gives wisdom to the wise
And knowledge to those who have understanding.

Daniel 2:21

Professionals react differently to change in their workplace, depending upon their personalities. Some people thrive in the midst of change, anticipate it, and accept it as a path to personal growth and adventure. Others resist change, convincing themselves that it's unnecessary, and refuse to accept it. Still others reluctantly admit that change is needed, but pine for way things used to be.

Many of us have work patterns and habits that we prefer keep set in stone. Once we become used to doing something one way, we resist change. Becoming obstinate in our view of workplace change might impact our performance and job security. An obstinate spirit could indicate an underlying fear. Talking with others about your fear of change usually helps calm or alleviate your fears.

So, how can you prepare for change in the workplace? Consider these five directives, which can help you move toward change with great confidence.

1. Rely on the strength of your faith in God. Remember that God is the greatest agent of change in your life. You do nothing in and of yourself without God being involved. The things about you that have been changed from your former nature are much more significant than any change you might be required to make in the work place.

2. Expect change is a process. Most of us, when presented with another way of doing something, deny that there is a need for change. We then resist, begin to explore why the change might be needed, and, after we explore the options, finally commit to and accept the change.

3. Seek knowledge. Gather information, ask questions, and learn as much as you can about why those initiating the change have made the new proposals. As you begin to understand why, you will be better able to accept the change.

4. Prepare for disappointment. Just when you think things are going well in a change initiative, you can plan on experiencing disappointment. Some people experiencing change miss their old work patterns and must accept the new way as reality if they wish to continue in their current roles at work.

5. Be a change agent. God is about changing our lives as Christians. And change is evident in our work culture today. Technological advances alone keep us updating, moving to new systems, and learning new work methods just to keep up with our competitors. You can learn to embrace change as you work through the process and then help bring others onboard. You can’t serve as a change agent in your workplace without first embracing change yourself.